Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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