i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
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My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
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I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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