i was born a porn star she said
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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