lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
