So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize