idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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