that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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