That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
