The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
