Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
