420 ftw
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We talked him into tasing himself.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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