so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
