so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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