yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i think i have two assholes
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
