The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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