Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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