so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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