I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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