I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
