that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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