So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We are all done wearing pants today
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
