I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
