I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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