well I can't set my house on fire every night
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
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My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
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hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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