so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
