Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize