he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
