try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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