im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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