I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
