can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
