You're so nebulous sometimes
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
