I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
