I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize