When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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