Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize