It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
