Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
