You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
