return my video game
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
