Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
