My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Randomize
