i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
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I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
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Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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