My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
