3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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