I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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