Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
