I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
