I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
