I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
