my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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