Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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