I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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