Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
