if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
