He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize